Bella's Song
by The Diamond in the Rocks
Summary: Based on Taylor Swift's "Mary's Song, Oh, my, my, my." 'If there were no monsters and no magic.' Jacob/Bella
1. Chapter 1

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I really shouldn't be writing this fic just now... I should really finish the other two fics I'm writing before I start this one... But I had an epiphany... I was listening to Mary's song by Taylor Swift... And I could so see Jake and Bella there... So here it is! Each chapter is one verse of the song.

**Disclaimer: It's pretty obvious, I ain't Stephenie Meyer...**

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I clung to my daddy's head, peaking out at the little red house in front of us. It ooked like an old- people house. I pouted and poked him in the ear. "Daddy, are there any kids here?"

He strained his head to look at me and opened his mouth to say something, when I saw him. A little dark boy, probably a year younger than me, was playing in the backyard of the little red house. He'd climb the big oak tree as high as he dared then jump down. Blood was pouring from his elbows and knees, but he didn't seem to notice. I frowned.

"Daddy, if you think I'm playing with that cootie-wridden monster you've got another thing coming."

He shook his head and laughed. "You don't have to, Bells. But be nice. His name's Jacob."

"Jacob," I repeated with distaste. "Jacob. Ew."

He laughed again. "He has two sisters, you can play with them." My head perked up at the word "sisters." Good. Playing with Jacob was out of the question.

My dad waved to the two adults who emerged onto the porch of the little red house. A tall pretty woman with long black hair, and a man in a wheel chair. I felt sorry for him.

I smiled in the direction of the two people on the porch. We climbed up the porch steps and they immediatley began talking all at once, like grown-ups usually do.

"Charlie! Oh, that must be Isabella!"

" Let me see her! How old is she? She's such a big girl!"

And so on and so forth.

I tapped on Daddy's shoulder, "Can you put me down now?" I whispered into his ear.

He laughed and set me on the ground. The pretty woman bent down in front of me and smiled. She had black eyes that twinkled at me, and her smile was warm. I smiled shyly.

"Isabella?"

"Bella."

"Oh." She smiled again and gestured into the house. "Ray and Becca are in the house," she said. "Go play with them."

I smiled again and half-ran, have skidded into the little red house. I was in a tiny, but cozy living room. It wasn't organized, but wasn't dirty. Just disorganized. I wandered around the house until I found a closed door that said "Ray and Becca's room, Knock first or die" in pink puff paint. I rapped on the door twice. I heard nothing. I rapped again. This time I heard shuffling feet and a little dark head peeked out of the door. She had wide, dark brown eyes. She looked at me for a second, then slammed the door shut. I could hear giggles from the inside.

Tears smarted in my eyes. Did they have to be so mean? I rubbed my tears away on the back of my hand. Not wanting the adults to see me and embarrass me with the twins, I sauntered to the back door and walked outside. I sat down on the grass and put my face in my hands. I had forgotten the backyard wasn't empty.

I jumped at the warm touch on my shoulder. I looked up into the face of a smiling boy.

"Something wrong?"

I shook my head.

"If Racheal and Rebecca were being mean to you, then forget it. They're just jerks like that.'

I allowed a small smile. "I'm Bella," I said holding out my hand, then pulling it back when I noticed his blood-stained palms. The dried blood was just being moistened again by the fresh. I felt faint.

"Don't your arms and knees hurt?"

He looked at the blood pouring from his arms and legs. " Kinda."

I frowned. He seemed to remember something at that moment. "I'm Jacob, but Jake's good, too."

A smile returned to my face. "Hi, Jake."

His face brightened. "Hi, Bella."

I studied him for a second. He had black hair that hung to just below his ears, and his skin was copper-colored. His eyes were so dark they were almost black, and they had a sparkle in them. Like stars...

I smiled again.

"Bella!"

I looked behind me, Daddy was there.

"Jacob, Bella! Dinner!" It was Jake's momma this time.

He grinned, "C'mon, I'll race'ya."

I laughed and ran after him, not because I wanted to race, but because I couldn't wait to stare into those eyes again.

_-When you were seven and I was nine,_

_I looked at you like the stars that shined,_

_In the sky,_

_Those pretty lights._

**And chapter one, done! Review if you want the second verse!**


	2. Chapter 2

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Well I'm back! With verse two of the song! You should really go listen to it, it's one of my favoritest songs ever! And I apologize for the slightly crappy writing in the past chapter. The writing will get better as Bella ages. She's supposed to be nine years old, remember.

Disclaimer: I DON'T OWN THESE CHARACTERS, DARNNIT.

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I skipped up the stairs of the little porch on the little red house. Jacob was waiting in the doorway, waiting with an expectant look on his face. I attempted quickening my pace, but ended up stumbling up the last few steps. He laughed as I clutched his arm.

"You're not very nimble, are you?"

I shook my head as I tried to steady myself, failing in the attempt.

"No, I'm clumsy."

He laughed again, lighter this time, trying not to make fun. I stood up straight and noticed my bloody palms. Jacob's arm had still been wet.

I wrinkled my nose, his blood made me want to puke. I usually fainted when I saw blood. I kept myself occupied with his twinkling eyes.

As soon as I was steady enough to walk, I ran into the house, desperate to get away from Jacob's bloodiness. The smell of lasagna, piping hot lasagna, instantly hit me, temporarily blocking out the blood smell. The food smelled good.

I gravitated towards the kitchen, and like the living room, it was small, cozy, disorganized, yet clean. It had a homey feel to it. I ran to the sink to rinse off my hands real quickly, eager to eat. I hadn't realized how hungry I was until just now.

Jacob's momma was taking a big dish of lasagna out of the oven, Charlie and Jacob's daddy already at the table.

"Jacob," his momma scolded when she saw him come in, his arms and legs pouring. "Go clean yourself up, you look like a bad horror movie."

Jacob shot her a grin before sprinting off, in the direction of the bathroom I inferred.

"Bella," I turned instinctively to the sound of my name. Jacob's momma was smiling at me, her eyes twinkling just like Jacob's. "Sit down, hun. You want some pasta?"

I nodded, a smile plastered unmoving on my face. I took a seat next to an empty chair, making sure Jacob had a spot next to me. He appeared just as I stuck my fork in the plate of steaming lasagna. His grin was still in place, an impish, toothy smile. His arms and legs were miraculously clean, neatly plastered with multi-colored band-aids. He contemplated his choices of seats when he walked in, choosing the one next to me.

_Yes, _I thought, a smile brightening up my face. He continued grinning, now aiming his impish smile towards me. I noticed faint traces of blood still lining his arms, barely noticeable against russet skin. I didn't mind.

"Jake, go yell for your sisters, they're probably hungry," Jacob's momma said, preoccupied with mine and Jacob's daddy's appetites. I noticed Jacob make a face before getting up.

"Ey, Tard and Tarder, dinner's ready!" I heard Jacob's voice faintly from the hall. I smiled to myself.

He appeared a few seconds later with two girls that looked exactly alike trailing behind him. He resumed his seat next to me, rolling his eyes while cocking his head towards the direction of his sisters. They regarded us with two echoing stares of a sullen and disturbing intensity.

Meanies.

"So, Bella, you were with Jacob, huh?" I heard my daddy's voice and looked up. I nodded once before stuffing a bite of oozing cheese and sauce into my mouth.

"Won't be long, now." I heard a deep voice laughing. Jacob's daddy, I found.

"Won't be long until what?" I stared at the two with a puzzled expression. A quick glance to my right told me that Jacob was just as confused as I.

"Won't be long 'til the wedding, of course!" My daddy leaned his head back and howled with laughter.

"What wedding?" Jacob and I asked in unison. I blushed.

Jacob's daddy rolled his eyes, like we didn't get something that was hopelessley obvious. It wasn't.

"It's simple, really. In a few years you guys will fall in love, get married, and thank us for stearing you in the right direction. It's perfect!"

My face was a furious scarlet by now. I stared at my pasta like it had just killed my family. I shifted my eyes to the right, and, sure enough, Jacob was just as angry. He was staring at his plate, tight-lipped and furious-eyed. His dark eyes met mine for a moment, shooting me a look of pure hostility, before returning to bore holes into his food.

"Oh, stop it!" Jacob's momma smacked both men in the backsides of their heads. " My, my, my," she murmured while shaking her head. " Bella, Jacob, don't mind them," she said rolling her eyes. "They're just a bunch of hopeless romantics." She laughed lightly while shaking her finger at the two guilty.

Jacob wordlessly got up and left the table, I could practically see the smoke from his ears. I followed shortly after.

I found him throwing rocks at the tree, leaving marks in the bark.

"Jake?" I asked tentatively. He didn't acknowledge me.

"It's not my fault," a bit of hurt leaked into my voice. "They're just a bunch of hopeless romantics," I continued, quoting his momma. This time he allowed a hollow smile.

"Yeah, I guess they are."

I smiled triumphantly. He dropped the rock that was in his hand.

"So you wanna do something?"

My grin widened. "Sure."

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-_And our daddies used to joke about the two of us  
Growing up and falling in love  
And our mommas smiled  
And rolled their eyes  
And said, Oh, my my my_

**And that's verse two! Review, pretty please!**

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	3. Chapter 3

**Well hello again! I just have a quick announcement... : You remember how I said each chapter is a verse of the song?Well I change my mind. There's only 14 verses, and I want _way _more than 14 chapters in this. So don't freak out if every now and then there's no song at the bottom. That's all!**

**Disclaimer: If I owned the Twilight series Edward would have stayed in the dark hole he went to in New Moon and Jake and Bella would have had seven children.**

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I sat cross-legged on the damp grass in the backyard of the little red house. The _familiar _little red house. My visits here had become a regular thing. I had gotten to know Jacob a lot over the past month.

Jacob lay on his stomach across from me. His head was set on his big hands, enlarged because of his skinny, gangly arms. He was staring at me, unblinking. I stared right back, my eyes wide open.

We were having a staring contest.

Jacob was very competetive. He loved challenges.

That was one of the many things I had learned about him.

I had also learned the fact that he was extremely stubborn, he put a mule to shame. Well, I suppose you could have called it determination. You could also call it ignorance. It took half of forever for something to sink through his thick head.

In addition to that, he was _very _cheerful. To the point where it got annoying. You could be furious at him and he would joke his way out of trouble. That wasn't necessarily a bad quality though. Jacob's happy aura was contagious. He was definitely one to cheer up someone else. I just _liked _being around him.

He wasn't mean. He could be very mean, but never just deliberately, to hurt someone for no reason. Making people feel good was his specialty.

He was amazing.

My eyes squinted, started to water. His sparkling black eyes widened in victory. I held my ground for another second then gave. My eyes blinked.

"Yes!" he shouted victoriously. "HA!"

I laughed, unable to be angry. It was near impossible to be angry at this boy.

He grinned and hoisted his weight onto his arms to crawl out of the shade of the big oak tree. He flopped down on his back in the rare patch of sunshine, staring at the blue sky aimlessley. I crawled over next to him.

There were puffy white clouds all over the sky today, making it look like heaven.

"Ever wonder what it would be like to jump in a cloud, Jake?"

"Mmmm," he answered. "It would be wet. But it still seems like fun."

I stared hard at the clouds, trying to make shapes. "That one looks like a wolf," I blurted out suddenly. And it was true, a long white cloud looked exactly like a wolf in a stretched-out running position.

Jacob grinned. "Yeah, it does." He turned over on his side and rested his jaw in his hand.

"You know, according to all the old geezers around here I'm supposed to turn into a wolf when I get older."

My eyebrows raised in wonder. "Seriously?"

He nodded, the grin plastered unmoving on his face. "Yep. Well, as long as there's some bloodsuckers around. Vampires."

I felt the hair on my arms and neck stand straight up. "Who told you that?"

He considered for a moment. "You know Quil?" I shook my head. He continued anyway. "His dad. He has these bonfires where him and my dad tell werewolf stories, superstitious old men."

"Oh."

The grin returned to his face. "Am I scaring you?" I didn't answer.

He rolled his eyes and changed the subject. "You really gotta meet Quil. And Embry. They're my best friends."

"Quil and Embry?" My eyebrows furrowed together in confusion. "Those are weird names."

He laughed. "Don't say that in front of them. They'll beat you to Bella pulp." He thought for a moment. "Well, even I could beat you up. You're so tiny." He spaced his thumb and forefinger a centimeter apart.

I took offense.

"I am not tiny!"

He laughed again. "Fine, you're not tiny. I'm just bigger than you."

I didn't remark. I liked Jacob better when he wasn't angry, annoyed, or frustrated at me.

Suddenly he leaned in really close to my face. "Can you keep a secret?"

I nodded, taken by surprise. He grinned. "Good."

He sprang up and grabbed my hand, dragging me back into the shade of the big oak tree. He led me to the other side of it, where a branch was hanging particularly low, grabbed the branch and swung himself up onto it. He pulled on my arm, which hurt, and hoisted my skinny frame up onto the branch next to him. He then let go of my hand and grabbed a discreet wooden plank kept in place by a rusty nail. There were six of these planks, widely spaced, up until the branches got thick and plentiful. He started scampering up and beckoned for me to follow, holding a finger to his lips in signal to stay quiet.

Had I mentioned he was utterly unpredictable?

I gingerly placed my fingers on the first plank, and followed Jacob as quickly as I could manage without falling and breaking my neck. I paused when I reached the beginning of the thick, gnarly branches. They weren't very trusting. Jacob poked his head throught just when I was considering going back down. He grinned and grabbed my arm, leading me expertly through the maze of limbs.

After a minute or two, I began to see a sort of platform placed in the thick branches. After a while I saw a gate-type thing around it, and even a roof.

The little tree house was roomy, probably big enough to fit Jacob, me, and two or three other kids our size with room to move around. The roof was a little over five feet above the floor, giving us plenty of room to stand and stretch.

"Welcome to my treehouse," Jacob said proudly, a posessive edge to his tone.

"I built it myself," he continued, "with help from my mom, too, but I built it. No one knows about it except me, my mom, Quil, and Embry. And now you."

I looked up at the ceiling, everything was very neatly built, with nails and everything. Not the crude tree house you would expect.

"What do you ddo in here?" I wondered aloud. There was a worn bookshelf in a corner, and some beanbag chairs on the floor. Each gate was about ten feet wide, not too much space for running. Posters of cars and motorcycles were plastered on the planes of wood that made up the gate around the treehouse.

"We just imagine driving cars, basically," Jacob answered my question. He walked over to the worn bookshelf, and came back with a stack of car magazines. He flipped through them wistfully, glancing at me with a smile every now and again. Strangely, I didn't feel bored. I felt... _content. _Happy.

Finally Jacob payed a little attention to me.

"When's your birthday?" he asked, truly curious.

"September thirteenth," I answered automatically. "Why?" I asked, suddenly suspicious.

"Nohting," he shrugged. "Just wonderin'," He He flipped a page in the magansine he was looking at and sighed.

"My birthday's only two weeks after that," he added after a moment. "September twenty-seventh."

"We could have our parties together."

"That would be cool."

Jacob thought for a moment, cocking his head to the side so his chin-length black hair swished to the side.

"Do you think your friends would like a bonfire? On the beach? We Quileute boys know how to burn blue fire." He puffed his chest out proudly.

I laughed at his pride. "Yeah, they'd like that. I would, too." I smiled at the thought, a blue fire on the beach, we could roast marshmallows and everything!

Jacob smiled back, his genuine grin lighting up his face.

"Would marshmallows turn blue if we roasted them?" I asked suddenly.

Jacob burst out laughing, he smacked his knee.

"C'mon," he laughed, wiping a tear from his eye. "Let's go before your dad finds out about this place."

I followed eagerly, not really caring I hadn't gotten an answer to my question.

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_Take me back to the house in the backyard tree  
Said you'd beat me up you were bigger than me  
You never did,  
You never did_

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**Well that's chapter three! And the third verse of Mary's Song! And for the birthday thing, New Moon never mentioned when Jacob's birthday was. It just implied it was somewhere in Bella's zombie stage. And I wanted them to have their birthdays together. So September twenty-seventh be it.**

**Review pretty please with the whole cherry-tree on top!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Sorry. I know it's been months and months since I last updated, and I'm sorry. The thing is, I don't even know who I'm apologizing to! It's not like I had a lot of readers or reviewers... Whatever. Here's chapter 4, hope you like it!!**

**Disclaimer:... THEY'RE NOT MINE!!! NOT MINE I SWEAR IT!!!! BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA**

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I stared at my birthday presents. There was a total of six of them.

Six presents.

That was exactly four more than I usually recieved each year. When I lived in Phoenix, I never told any of my classmates about my birthday. I would get one gift from my mom, and my daddy would probably send one in. My mamma would take me out for dinner and a large slice of devil's food cake, and that was it. No big party, no white cake with my name written on in in pink frosting, certainly no bonfire on the beach that fifty people were present for.

That was exactly what had happened this year. Jacob's mamma and daddy had arranged a bonfire on LaPush beach, and I had invited Angela from school. Angela was my only real friend at my elementary school. Everyone else was... I don't know. But Angela was the only one who got it.

Anyway, I had invited Angela and Jacob had invited Quil and Embry and some other friends. A lot of old people and teenagers were there, and, strangley, it wasn't uncomfortable in the slightest. I found myself laughing and smiling at everyone during the whole thing, like we were just a big family. Jacob's mamma had baked a big chocolate cake and had written my name and Jacob's name in blue icing over the chocolate buttercream. Someone had tried to shove Jacob's face into the cake, but he ended up with his head in a bowl of punch instead. He emerged laughing and asking who made the punch because, apparently, it was very good. He had shaken out his soaking hair towards the culprit, and then ran screaming laughter into the crashing waves on the beach. All his friends joined him, and when they returned from their dip they were shivering, their lips blue and their eyes red. That was when we started the bonfire, eating cake huddled around the warm, blue and green and orange flames, along with roasted marshmallows. The elders started telling stories with me clinging onto every word. All of it ended around one AM, and by then Angela and I had fallen asleep curled together on the sand. That would take me to this morning, where my presents awaited unopened at the foot of my bed.

I sighed and picked the first one up. It was from my dad. I unwrapped the printed wrapping paper to reveal a small, rectangular box. I opened the top and gasped. On a bed of white cotton was a silver charm bracelet. It had a single charm on it, a diamond encrusted letter B.

I loved it.

I pushed my hand through the charm bracelet; it slipped easily over my slender fingers. It fit a little too loosely on my wrist, but I figured it was better that way. Then I could wear it for a long time. Daddy must've spent a fortune, which worried me a little, but I shrugged it off. I smiled and even laughed softly as the chains on the bracelet tinkled together quietly. The solitary charm swung all by its lonesome. I hoped it wouldn't be alone for long.

I pushed the charm bracelet up to my elbow to keep it in place while I moved on to the next gift. Even with the bracelet pushed up to my elbow, I had to keep my arm upright awkwardly so that it wouldn't come jingling merrily down my spindly arm. I sighed and picked up the next box. It was much larger than the little rectangle that had held my lovely charm bracelet. I bit my lip to hold my excitement. I knew my eyes were most likely big and expectant, sparkling with anticipation. I opened the box and couldn't help but gasp, because inside the box was the single most beautiful doll I had ever seen in my life.

It was most certainly not a Barbie doll, or Bratz or anything like the wide majority of girls my age were into, no. This doll, this exquisite doll was hand carved from wood as pale as ivory. Her hair was as satiny smooth as silk, and such a dark chocolate brown it was nearly black. Her lovely face was made of paint, her eyes painted large, and deep brown, the same shade as her long hair. Her lips were full and cherry red, and her cheeks were pale pink. Her nose was perfectly carved, jutting out of the wood, and her black eyebrows were perfectly even. And for that moment, I was no longer sitting on my bed in a two-story house about to enter the twenty-first century.

For that moment, I was a young Quileute Indian girl sitting in a tepee clutching her beautiful doll. I was no longer wearing my favorite jeans and yellow blouse that I had worn the day before. I was in a buckskin dress that matched my doll's exactly, with the red-brown head of a howling wolf embroidered on the front. I touched the soft feathers in the doll's hair as I returned to present time.

Under the dress, on the side of her leg above her ankle, I could feel something rough. I lifted the dress to find something engraved in the wood. I squinted to read it. _Bella,_ I read.

It took me a long moment to realize that the doll was supposed to be me.

Now that I realized it, I found that the doll _did_ look like me, in an exotic, outlandish way. An older, much prettier version of me, for that matter, but me nonetheless.

I set her down next to me on my bed so she could watch me open the rest of my gifts. I then realized there was something else in the rectangular box that had held my doll. I lifted out a rectangular object that was wrapped several times over in pale yellow tissue paper. I tore at the paper curiously to reveal a picture frame. It was hand-carved like the doll, and just as beautiful. I stroked the russet colored wood. It was carved to look like four uneven logs had fitted together, and pictures were carved into the wood. There were pictures of wolves and moons and stars and suns and flowers and hands being held and windows and everything else that was peaceful and beautiful. The picture frame held an enlarged photo of Jacob and I in his backyard under the big oak tree. We were on our stomachs with our legs crossed in the air and our chins resting in our hands. Both of us were grinning hugely for the camera. It had been sunny that day, and the blue sky was visible behind us. Under the photo, engraved in the wood were the words: _Jacob and Bella, August 7th, 1999. _I smiled and set the picture on my bedside table. I picked up the card in the box to read. It said: _Bella, we hope you like your doll and picture frame. Neither was expensive because Billy carved both, which worried us, but you don't seem like a material girl. We just want you to know that we love you so much, like our own daughter, and Happy Birthday! Have fun being a year older! Love, Jacob, Billy, and-------._

I wiped a tear from the corner of my eye. Billy had carved both. I hadn't even known it was possible for someone to carve like that.

I let out a shaky sigh and set the box and card aside. I picked up the next present. This one was in a bag. I picked up the card first:_ Happy Birthday Bella! You're one of the greatest friends I've ever had. -Angela_

I smiled. Angela was so sweet. I reached into the bag and pulled out three paper-back books. One was _Where the Red Fern Grows, _the next one _The Chronicles of Narnia, The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe, _and the third _The Tale of Despereaux._ I had already read _The Chronicles of Narnia,_ but it was one of my favorites so it was ok. I had never heard of the other two, but they sounded good so that was great. I smiled. I had to remind myself to thank Angela.

On to the next gift. This one was a small box. A piece of paper was sticking out of the side. I slipped it out and read it: _Sorry we don't have individual gifts, but we can only afford so much. I think we did pretty well. Happy Birthday! -Quil and Embry P.S.-we know it looks opened, but that's cuz we took it out to download the music onto it for you._ I looked at the note confused then reached into the bag. I retrieved an Mp3 player. I gasped.

No wonder Quil and Embry bought the gift together.

It was light blue, with a little screen to show what was playing. I turned it on, and sure enough there was music already on it.

I _really _had to thank them.

The next present was a very small little box. I picked up the note sitting on the top of it. So many notes! People didn't know how to just write "From so and so" anymore.

_I know the doll and picture frame thing were supposed to be from me too, but I didn't really help with much. So this is from me. -Jacob_

I rolled my eyes at Jacob's independence issue. He always had to take matters into his own hands. But curiosity nudged at my side and I opened the box.

My "B" charm would no longer hang alone. I pinched the little sun-cloud charm between my fingers. It was a little silver cloud with a little silver sun peeking out from behind it. I clipped it on and laughed. I felt giddy.

I knew who the last present was from before I opened it. Mom.

I knew I could count on an unnecessarily long letter from Renee.

_Dear Bella,  
Honey I miss you so much here in Phoenix. Everyday I wish you were here, and everyday I wonder what you're doing at the moment. Things are going great here, I found a great little house to rent. Two bedrooms, though, which makes it unbearably lonely. How have you been?......._

And so on, and so forth.

I skimmed the rest of the letter, made a mental note to write back, and grabbed the silver-wrapped box. It was heavy, which made my excitement sky-rocket. I ripped off the paper ( something I don't normally do) and tore open the box. I sifted through the styrofoam and removed a shapeless, bubble-wrapped thing. This I took the time to unwrap carefully, and finally held up a snowglobe.

The snowglobe was custom-made, and probably cost a fortune. Inside the dome, yes, _inside_ the dome was a photograph of my mom and I. It was in black and white, and was translucent so that it was visible on both sides of the globe. Engraved on the bottom part of the globe was "_Renee and Bella", _and underneath was a little knob. I twisted it several times, and the photo inside the globe began turning slowly to "Clair de Lune". I was breathless. I set the globe on my bedside table and sat without saying a word for a few moments, listening to the sweet melody.

A light knock on the door was the only warning I had before Charlie poked his head into the room. "Bells?" He asked softly, "You up?"

"Morning, Dad," I said quietly. My face was red; I had been caught in the act. I made sure he could see the charm bracelet on my wrist, and I made sure the B charm was turned toward him.

"Did you like your presents?" He sat down on the bed next to me. I knew he wasn't asking about all the presents so much as he was asking about one specific gift.

"I loved them, Dad," I said hoisting myself up onto my knees to wrap my arms around his neck. He stiffened awkwardly under my embrace. His hand patted my back for a moment before I backed away.

"Thank you."

"Your welcome, Bells," he muttered before leaving the room.

I slumped back onto my bed and stared at the door, content.

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**I am NOT updating before I get 10 more reviews. You better believe me because I am dead serious.**


	5. Chapter 5

**As always, (this is becoming a routine) I apologize for taking so freaking long to update. I hope my devout readers will understand. Lol, here's chapter... what is it? Four? Five? I'm not sure. Anyways, here's the next chapter!!! ;)**

**(Btw, I didn't get 10 reviews, but I'm impatient like that. You guys should be thankful. :P )**

**Disclaimer: I love Stephenie Meyer for giving my life meaning. LMAO**

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The ride to Jacob's house was too long.

I had never thought about the ride to LaPush, it was just a daily routine, fifteen minutes of grim scenery until we pulled up into the Blacks' driveway. I was used to it, used to just thinking about what Jacob and I would come up with to occupy ourselves today, used to maybe even some awkward conversation with Charlie (strangely words carried the awkwardness between us, rather than the silence). It was all part of the pattern of my life.

But now I noticed how the minutes stretched out like hours, how my longing for my home away from home intensified with the anticipation.

I loathed it.

Especially now, since I had so much to say to Jacob, so much to thank him and his Momma and Daddy for. I couldn't wait to tell them how much I was grateful for the time and thought they put into the gifts they had given me. I couldn't wait to see how Jacob had reacted to his gift. I just _couldn't wait. _That was the problem.

I tried counting the shapes I could make out in the cloudy sky, but gave up on that quickly. There were too many possibilities, and staring at the grey dreariness depressed me. I wondered if I should have been used to the cloudiness by now, it was a part of everyday life here in Forks. For some reason most of the days I seemed to remember being sunny. I knew the reason for that, and for a second I wondered if it should bother me; surely Jacob wasn't as attatched to me as I was to him.

I didn't have a chance to dwell on that long, though, because, at that moment, we pulled up into the Blacks' driveway.

I darted from the car and sprinted around the house to the backyard, almost tripping on the uneven ground as I ran to the big oak tree. I reached up to the low branch and hoisted myself up, my hands finding the first plank easily and lifting me up to the others. I scrambled up faster than I would have thought possible for me; being with Jacob was improving my coordination. Sooner than I was used to, I was panting on the floor of the treehouse. Jacob was waiting there for me, naturally.

"You got faster," he commented conversationally. I grinned.

"I wonder who I owe that to," I said with cheerful sarcasm. He laughed as I plopped down on the floor next to him.

"I heard it was the doing of this kid I know... what's his name? Oh, yeah," his eyes twinkled mockingly. "Jacob Black."

"I've heard about him," I played along in a slow voice. "I hear he's a pretty amazing kid; smart, and funny, too."

"Yeah I heard that," he drawled lazily. "But what I'm really into is his best friend, this girl named Bella Swan, you heard of her?" He cocked an eyebrow for a second, then, without waiting for a respose, continued in an almost proud voice, "She's supposed to be super clever, and pretty, too." My eyes shined when I heard this.

"Thanks, Jake," I sniffed.

He didn't give any reply besides grinning hugely and crossing his ankles in the air. I copied his movements and we both sat in the comfortable silence for a few minutes, the only sound coming from the swishing branches outside our little haven.

"Thanks, by the way," he said abruptly, breaking the brief silence. "For, you know, the present and stuff."

"Oh," I answered, taken by surprise. "Your welcome. Anything for you, Jake." I suddenly remembered the silver sun and cloud charm hanging at my wrist and blushed. I fingered it momentarily before looking up into Jacob's expectant eyes.

"Jacob," my voice was hushed and rough with emotion. "You didn't have to get me this; you must have saved up forever. I wish I would have put as much thought into my gift," I finished miserably, thinking of the vintage miniature model cars I had bought him. I glanced to the side to see them arranged neatly on the shelf at the side, his favorite, a 1986 Volkswagen Rabbit, placed at the top shelf-the place of honor.

He snorted, "You couldn't have got me a better present; what else could you buy a boy? A charm bracelet? It doesn't matter anyway; it's not the present, it's the people who give them. Don't worry about the charm; you deserve it." His voice was confident. I realized he was right, though I still felt entirely grateful for his gift.

I smiled. "You're right, you know."

"I know." He was quiet. I looked up curiously to find a funny look on his face, it looked sort of frustrated, and sort of shy, with a slight note of anticipation.

"Bella?" He asked, the peculiar expression still frozen onto his face.

"Yes?" My voice had an edge of alarm to it, even to me.

"I-" He stopped. With a deep breath, he started again. "I- I like you," he stammered, his face red even under his reddish brown complexion. His face hung, his hair covering it so I couldn't see his expression.

I was frozen. Stunned. I couldn't even move. My lips tried to move, my throat attempted to make a noise, failing miserably in the attempt. All I could do was stare.

"Um... Ah.... Ha... Erm... OK," I mumbled stupidly. I glowered at the floor for my idiocy.

"Yeah." Jacob was still looking down, shame in his expression now. It hurt to see him like this, but I had no idea what to do. It was hardly fair, he couldn't just spring it onto me like that and expect a coherent answer! Plus, I had no idea how these things worked. I was only nine years old, for crying out loud!

"Um..." I racked my brain for an answer. "Maybe you should kiss me?" It sounded like a question, which it was. I suddenly thought of it and stiffened, what had I been thinking? Was I crazy?

Jacob looked up at me in disbelief. "Seriously?" Doubt colored his tone.

"Uh, yes." I chewed my lip for a moment before adding, "I think."

He stayed where he was, his feet planted. I couldn't read his expression; I was still in shock.

Finally, he took a few hesitant steps towards me. He looked at me for a moment then leaned in. I couldn't think. I couldn't breath. I didn't know what to do, so I did what the only sane corner of my brain was telling me to do.

I ran.

I remembered looking back for a second to see Jake's bewildered expression, remorse quickly turning into relief as I registered his own relief in the bewilderment. Before I knew it, I had made it through the thick branches and was scrambling backwards down the planks. I was soon on the moist, grassy, mossy earth under the tree, breathing hard. I shuffled to the other side of the big tree, so I would be out of the line of site of the adults in the house.

I was alone for a while.

I was thinking about what had just happened. Jacob had seemed to be just as relieved as I was when I ran, but maybe in my rush I had misread his expression. Maybe I had hurt him. Did this change things between us? Could we never again sit comfortably and casually in each other's presence? Would awkwardness replace the carefree atmosphere that was usually carried between us?

I sat alone in my misery, pondering these thoughts. Without Jacob, Forks was a black hole, free of any excitement or happiness.

I was thinking so hard I almost didn't notice the quiet footsteps behind me.

"Hey, Bella." At the sound of his voice, I gave a little jump. I turned tentatively to face him, not making any move to stand up. I monitered his expression, and decided he looked happy, a slight grin on is face and a mocking look in his eyes.

"I didn't know you got here, you could have at least come up to the tree house." My eyes widened in surprise at his words, but I had heard the words that he hadn't said, the words written out plainly in his dark eyes: _Let's forget about this. Let things go back to normal._

I stood up and smiled. "Sorry Jake. Guess I just wasn't ready." He heard the double meaning in my voice, and smiled understandingly.

"It's ok. It's better this way," he thought for a moment then added, "You know, me coming down here, so you don't break your neck or anything." I laughed.

"Nice save."

"Thanks."

We were quiet for a minute before he spoke.

"You wanna go back up?"

"Sure," I agreed easily, and took his hand when he offered it to me. We climbed back up the tree, and I thanked the Lord the whole way.

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**You know what would be real nice? A review ;P**


	6. Chapter 6

**Sorry I took so long to update (wow, apologizing for my lack of writing activity is becoming a routine) but I have an excuse this time. Really. I was almost done like three weeks ago, but forgot to hit save before I closed the page. So I logged back on the next morning, and found that this was 1,000 words shorter than I had left it. It took a while to get it all back, ya know? So here it is. Oh, and before I forget, I didn't post the verse of the song that was supposed to go with the last chapter:**

_Take me back to when our world was one block wide_

_I dared you to kiss me and ran when you tried_

_Just two kids, you and I_

_Oh my, my, my, my_

**Disclaimer: I hereby declare that the characters mentioned in the following chapter are not mine and I by publishing the following am not trying to claim them in any way, shape, or form. No copyright infringement intended. (Crap I sounded cool!)**

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I could not move.

I couldn't speak, couldn't open my mouth, couldn't make my eyes blink. Part of me noticed Jacob, standing with his mouth open, body frozen into a statue-like position. His eyes were wide and disbelieving. I vaguely wondered whether he was in shock or in denial.

_Jacob,_ I tried to say. _Jacob, it'll be alright. _But for some reason I couldn't make the words come out of my mouth. My throat felt dry, dry and parched, like sandpaper. I couldn't make sound come out of that desert. And even if I did manage to speak those words, I knew my voice would break, because they were a terrible lie. A terrible, horrid, montstrous lie.

Nothing would be alright. Nothing at all.

We had gotten the call only a few minutes ago. It didn't seem possible, it seemed like ages ago Jacob and I had been playing in the yard, Rachel and Rebecca out with us for once, the fathers sitting inside shouting about the game on TV. The four of us had sat on the uneven ground under the canopy of the trees, talking about nothing in particular, watching the leaves and branches above us make shadows on the bumpy soil, poking at the bugs running around in the dirt. We had heard the screaming from inside the house stop abruptly, and looked towards the unusual silence with no real interest. Who cared? Maybe the team they had been rooting for had lost. Maybe the reception on the TV was bad. Maybe they went to use the bathroom.

But when we heard choked sobs coming from inside, concern finally touched us. It had dawned on us that something bad had happened. Something that would make a strong, old man like Billy cry.

When Charlie had finally emerged from the red house to inform us, his eyes red and his face flushed and contorted in agony, we didn't understand. Rachel, Rebecca, Jacob, and I didn't have words. It wasn't something one could grasp in a few minutes. It wasn't something one would think would happen so abruptly, in no more than a few minutes.

But a few minutes was really all it took for everthing to change, for someone's life to be turned upside-down and backwards. How long had it taken for the Titanic to hit the iceberg? For Juliet to kill herself after discovering Romeo's death?

And how long did it take for Jacob's mother to look the other way, and lose focus of the street in front of her? For the truck squealing and spiraling towards her, going in the wrong direction, to crash into her rusty car and take her life?

It couldn't have been more than a few turns on the hands of a clock.

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Charlie and I now spent most of our time in LaPush. It had been that way to begin with, but now the hours seemed... Longer? True, but there was something else. Empty? Yes. The emptiness and desolation of the atmosphere in LaPush made it unbearable to be there.

Of course I wouldn't be happy in Forks, either. Then I would feel that I had turned my back on Jacob, Jacob and Rebecca and Rachel and Billy, when they needed us most.

_Oh, it really sucks that your mom died and all, but being around here is seriously putting a downer on my mood. Bye! _Yeah, I didn't think so.

Honestly, I wasn't even getting any time with Jacob at all. I wanted to talk to him, but at the same time I wondered if it wouldn't be better to leave him alone for a while, to let him work things out. I was messed up about the whole thing too, but it had been a month, for crying out loud! Not that Sarah didn't deserve a month of grieving, she deserved much more than that. But when I pictured Sarah and her sunny smile, her sparking black eyes, full of adoration for her family, I knew that she wouldn't _want_ her family to stay in this state of depression for so long. I remembered back to the day it had happened...

After the call, it hadn't taken long for realization to hit. I had been walking around, depressed, though I didn't know why, and had decided to go looking for Sarah to talk to. I hadn't taken more than two steps before I realized that there was no Sarah to go to, to confide in and hug and feel so light and happy and loved around. The understanding hit with crushing force, knocking my feet out from under me and spreading a feeling of numbing desolation throughout my body. It had taken me a full two days to cry myself out.

As bad as that had been, it had been worse for Jacob. Jacob had gone to sleep, not saying a word to anyone but himself. He had kept muttering, _wake up, wake up._ He woke in the morning (Charlie and I had spent the night) calling out for his mother...

_"Mom?" Jacob calls. "Mom? I feel sick, I feel like there's something wrong. Where are you?"_

_I hear his weak voice from my uncomfortable homemade bed on the couch. I run to him, tears still running down my face. I burst into his room, trying to keep my crying under control._

_"Bella?" His voice is incredulous. "Why are you crying? What's wrong?"_

_My eyes widen in shock. How can he not be upset about what happened? Why isn't he crying?_

_"Your mom..." I cut off, a burst of intuition exploding into my mind. It's not just a river in Egypt, I remind myself._

_"Jacob..." I search for the right words, he is still eyeing me with a puzzled expression._

_"What's wrong with my mom?" He's trembling, and I can see the war raging in his black eyes. He's fighting, fighting hard against the truth. He doesn't want to believe it. I wonder what I should do. Would it be better for me just to say 'nothing' and walk out? Or should I make him understand, make him believe? I'm torn, trying to decide what's best for Jacob._

_"Jacob," I begin again, making my voice strong. I have to be strong. I have to be strong for Jacob, for Billy and Charlie and Rachel and Rebecca..._

_"Jacob, you can't keep pretending." My voice breaks in spite of myself. "Jacob, she's gone, you have to accept that. You have to believe that. She's not coming back, you have to let go of any vain hope that this is a dream. I'm sorry, Jake. I loved her, too. But she's gone." Tears begin running down my face again, and I grit my teeth to keep the sobs from escaping. I shut my eyes tightly for a few moments before opening them cautiously to moniter Jacob's reaction. His face is contorted, and his eyes are tortured._

_"Don't lie," he whispers weakly. "She's not dead, she's not dead!" His voice gets louder and his face is angry. "Don't you lie to me, Bella! She's not dead! She's-she's asleep. Or out. I don't know, but she's not dead! She can't be! People don't die just like that!" Tears are running down his face now, and I can see the war still going on in his eyes. He is losing. The truth is making itself known, taking over. He's desperately clinging to the last shreds of oblivion, but it's a wasted effort. I can see it when he gives up, he doubles over, clutching his sides, tortured sobs escaping his throat._

_Jacob's pain combined with mine is too much. I can't stand to see him like this. Before I know what I'm doing, I climb onto his bed and throw my arms around him, both of us sobbing. He buries his face in my hair, and we rock back and forth for what could have been hours or days. I cry so hard I can't see, and the sobbing is followed by a round of hysteria._

_Finally, I cry myself out. I have no more tears. I think maybe things will get better now. They can't get worse._

_I find out that I'm wrong._

_Jacob stops eating, sleeping. He's always staring out the window, and the expression on his face reminds me of a zombie. I don't know what to do. He never smiles..._

I winced, recoiling from the memory. I rarely saw Jacob now, but I was sure he wasn't any better. He was always locked up in his room, or up in the tree house.

What was I going to do about it? Sit around and wait for him?

_No, _I thought. _I have to try to bring him back. He can't stay like this forever._

I took a deep breath, and got up off the couch. Charlie and Billy didn't notice as I walked by them in the kitchen, they were deep in a serious conversation. I heard Jacob's name mentioned, and I sped up. Once I was outside, I wheeled around the house to the backyard. I ran to our tree and caught hold of the first plank, hoisting myself up. I wove my way through the branches, and before I knew it, was on my knees in the tree house, panting. I looked up to find Jacob regarding me with expressionless eyes.

"Hi, Jacob," I managed between gasps. He looked at me for another moment before turning his head to look at the leaves and branches swaying out the window.

"Hi." His voice was a dead monotone. I grimaced.

"Look, Jacob," I said softly, pleading. "It's a nice day out, let's go outside." He didn't even glance at me, his eyes still focused on the waving tree limbs outside.

"I don't want to go outside." His stiff reply held no expression, no emotion.

"Why not?" I demanded.

He shrugged. Tears smarted in my eyes.

"Jacob!" I cried, "Jacob, you can't stay like this. You have to _do _something. This is wrong, Jake. It's unhealthy. Please," I begged, holding my hands out in front of me. "Please, Jake. For me."

He didn't even seem to care that I was on the verge of tears. "I don't want to play, now, Bella. Maybe some other time." His words were automatic, a knee-jerk reaction. His indifference to my concern for him made me stop in my tracks. Why should I try? He obviously didn't care. It was a wasted effort.

"Fine," I muttered, unable to keep the tears out of my voice. "Just know that I miss you, Jake. The sun hasn't shined since you stopped smiling." I turned and left the treehouse, climbing down at a snail place. I didn't know why I was going so slowly. Maybe my subconsience had some hope he would follow me. It was a vain hope.

When I stepped down onto the moist earth, I realized that water was dripping around me, filtered my the thick green canopy of the trees. _It's raining, _I realized. I looked up at the dense, tangled mass of leaves and branches before I stepped out of the shelter of the trees and lifted my head, blinking furiously into the quick-falling droplets. I was soon soaked, my hair sticking to my neck and my clothes clinging to me wetly. I wasn't sure I long I stood there, but the cold finally became enough that I had to turn and run inside. I wrapped my arms around myself as I stumbled to the front of the house, my teeth chattering, and tried to think of a way to explain my wetness to Charlie. A small part of me was pleased to find he wasn't in the front room when I entered, and I wasted no time getting to the bathroom and locking the door.

I considered my appearance briefly in the mirror. My lips were blue from the cold, and there wasn't an inch of me that wasn't saturated in water. That wasn't the worst of it, though. The expression in my eyes was far worse than my less than dry state. My face felt numb, and it wasn't from the cold.

I suddenly realized that I was dripping all over the tile, and hurriedly yanked off all my clothes. I found a towel in the cabinet under the sink, and rubbed my body dry before wrapping my hair in it. I then squeezed my clothes out as best as I could in the bathtub, and put them back on despite their frigid, wet state. I unwrapped my hair and mopped up the water on the floor with the towel before tossing it into the hamper. I re-appraised my appearance in the mirror, and decided that I looked as presentable as possible under the cirumstances.

With a heavy sigh, I turned and walked out of the bathroom. I found Charlie in the kitchen, and was relieved that he didn't comment on my sodden state. I sat in a chair next to him for a bit while he finished up what he was saying to Billy. Uncharacteristically, I didn't pay attention to what they were saying. I didn't care, honestly. I was working on keeping myself from spiraling into a black hole of depression.

Finally, after a long while, Charlie got up and put on his coat. I grabbed my jacket off the hanger and briefly wondered why I hadn't thought to use it before. I followed Charlie out to the car, and got in silently. He started the cruiser, and we began the fifteen minute drive without a sound.

Halfway home, I broke the unusally tension filled silence.

"Daddy, I think I need to go spend some time with Mom," the words were a faint squeak, I peeked at him from behind my hair to moniter his reaction. He pursed his lips; his eyes were tired.

"I think you're right," he agreed in a slow voice after a moment. "It isn't doing any good for you to be here, Bells. Jake needs some time, and so do you. I was going to ask you if you wanted to go..." He paused for a minute, biting his lip. "But I don't know, I guess I didn't want to lose you so soon." His voice turned gruff with emotion at the last part.

I tried to grin. "I'm not leaving because of you, Dad. Just know that."

His answering smile was sad. "I know." His gaze shifted to me and back to the road before he continued, "I'll get the tickets online today. That way you can be back in Phoenix before winter break's done."

I chewed on my lip, unsure of what to say. I wanted to tell him that he could wait, that I would stay longer, but why prolong the inevitable?

"Okay," I finally whispered in a weak voice. We spent the rest of the drive in silence.

Finally we pulled up into the driveway. I hopped out of the car and started to run inside, but stopped myself just before I ran up the porch steps. I stood in front of the old white house, committing it to memory; memorizing every plane and angle. I was aware of Charlie slamming the door of the cruiser shut, and I knew it when he came to stand beside me. We stood wordlessley in the sheeting rain for a few minutes.

"C'mon, Bells," he finally mumbled gruffly. "You'll catch cold."

I shivered involuntarily at his words, and realized then how really wet I was. I nodded and began stepping up the porch steps. I took one final glance around the porch before stepping inside and trudging up the stairs with a dull, dragging sense of loss.

I didn't go to LaPush anymore in those last few days. What would be the point? Only more depressing memories etched into my brain. Instead I busied myself with packing, making sure that I forgot nothing in the nooks and crannies of my small bedroom.

The last day before I left, while cleaning out the last drawer of my small dresser, I pulled out an intricately carved wooden picture frame. I stared at the picture it held for ten minutes straight, maybe because the image seemed so alien to me.

It was the picture of Jacob and I, our smiles carefree and happy, on our stomachs with our ankles crossed in the air. We were under our tree, and bathed in a rare patch of sunlight.

I remembered shoving this picture into the drawer the day after Jacob's momma had died, because it had seemed to be mocking me. I knew the handwriting that was etched into the wood very well.

It took me a while to realize that the choked sobs that filled the room were my own.

I pressed the picture against my face, fogging the glass with hot tears and gasping breath. After the hysteria had run its course, I contemplated what to do with it. It seemed wrong to leave it here, although I never wanted to see it again. After a few minutes of thought, I thrust it into the bottom of my suitcase. I would shove it away into a box in the attic or garage as soon as I got to Phoenix.

I wiped away my tears with the back of my arm, and then noticed that the drawer was full of Jacob and I memorabilia. I ran down the stairs into the kitchen, tearing open a cabinet and pulling out a garbage bag. I hastily tore the bag from the roll and stomped back up the stairs to my bedroom. I emptied the contents of the drawer into the bag, stuffed the wooden picture frame in with it all, and shoved the bag into the bottom of my suitcase. It would meet its dusty, crowded attic fate in Phoenix.

The next day I woke up early in the morning. I took one last look around my room as I dressed with a mixed feeling of dread and eagerness. Maybe things would change when I left this dreary town. But maybe things wouldn't.

The ride to the airport was silent. There wasn't much we could say, really. I said my goodbyes to Charlie as I got on board, and my goodbyes to Forks as I watched the town get smaller and smaller from the window of the plane. I was 35,000 feet in the air before I remembered a goodbye I hadn't taken care of.

"I'm sorry. I love you. Goodbye," I whispered, knowing it was too late and he wouldn't hear me.

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**HOW SAD. I need a review to cheer me up. :) Oh, and bye the way, don't think of the "I love you," as romantic. It's just a best-friend thing.**


	7. Chapter 7

**This chapter's in Jacob's POV, in case you're too LD to figure that out. His reaction to Bella leaving. Enjoy?**

**Disclaimer: Funnyy**

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_The sun hasn't shined since you stopped smiling._

There was something about that line... What was it?

_The sun hasn't shined..._

Really, it was the only line that had touched me when Bella had been talking. The sun hadn't shined? Well that really wasn't something out of the ordinary. The sun never shined. But I was fairly sure there had been a few sunny days...

I stared out the window in my room, trying to make sense of it. It was difficult, like trying to fight through a haze. I had gotten good at not thinking, not feeling. But it really was bothering me...

_Since you stopped smiling..._

Well that was nothing to be surprised about, either. I wasn't too sure my face even remembered how to smile. Or at least how to smile and mean it. What was there to smile about? A brief picture of how my life used to be flashed through my mind; Bella, me, smiling and laughing. My mother... I cringed, recoiling from the painful image of her face.

Maybe that was why I was taking this so hard. My life used to be perfect, absolutely carefree and happy. I wasn't used to even the most trivial of sorrows, and then the worst possible thing happens. It shocked me into a depression.

I almost wished I was still in denial. That was better than the pain at least.

Pain... No one had gone through worse pain than I had. I was sure of it.

No one...

It hit me then, the details from Bella's words finally made sense.

_The sun hasn't shined since you stopped smiling._

I was sure she wasn't talking about the weather, here. She meant _her_ sun, _her_ happiness. I was taking that away, I was hurting her. I was so wrapped up in my own misery, I hadn't noticed how much I was hurting those around me. I vaguely wondered what I had done to my father, to my family. Only vaguely. I was mostly worried about what I had done to Bella.

And all that time she hadn't given up on me. Everyday she had asked me to go and play with her, tried to get me to express a little interest when she showed me my favorite auto magazines. And I had refused her, time and time again, oblivious to her pain. Now that I thought back, I could remember the hurt look on her face, the tears in her eyes. I hadn't cared.

No more, I decided right then. I would not, could not, do this do Bella anymore. It would be hard to let go of the numbness, but I would do it. For Bella.

I heard the front door open, and Charlie's low, gruff voice as he greeted my dad. They were here.

I hopped off my bed and walked over to the door. Every movement seemed so... Strange. Like I was walking for the first time, touching for the first time. My footsteps were too loud, so was the door as it creaked open. I walked to the kitchen nervously; I jumped at the sound of a door slamming somewhere outside.

When I walked into the kitchen, Bella was not there. Just Charlie, sitting at the table talking to my dad. _She must have stayed outside to walk around, _I thought, and headed towards the front door. I could feel Charlie and Billy's stares on my back.

I stepped outside into the soft drizzle, squinting as I fought to see through the mist. I didn't see her anywhere. I climbed down the porch steps, and started walking to the back of the house; she must have gone to sit in the shelter of the trees. But when I got there, Bella was nowhere to be seen.

Where could she be? Maybe she had stayed at home. When was the last time she had come here, anyway? I tried to remember when she had come up to talk to me in the treehouse. The memory seemed a little distant, maybe a few days ago?

So Bella hadn't been coming anymore. Another thing I hadn't noticed. Great. Was there anything I _had_ been aware of?

I couldn't say I blamed her, though. Not at all.

I turned and ran back to the house, before I got too wet. As it is I was already pretty much drenched.

I opened the door and stepped in, shivering in relief at the warmth. I shut the door behind me quietly and kicked off my soaked shoes before stalking into the kitchen. As soon as I sat down at the kitchen table the serious conversation between Charlie and Billy dissolved into an awkward silence. What a way to hide that you were talking about me.

I broke the silence after a minute or two.

"Charlie, could you please tell Bella to come over tomorrow? Or at least call. Tell her I'm really sorry," I said, staring at my hands. In my peripheral vision, I saw Charlie stiffen. I raised my gaze to look at his face, which was shocked. The shock quickly turned to something else that I didn't catch, because he turned his face and started fiddling with his hands. I waited. And waited.

Why wouldn't he answer?

Something seemed to dawn on me right then. Something had happened to Bella, something bad. I hadn't even noticed her absence before, I hadn't bothered to find out.

"What happened to her?" My voice was faint. I felt sick, very sick.

Charlie looked up in alarm. "No, no! Nothing happened... No, she's fine."

I was confused. If Bella was alright, why couldn't he tell her to call me?

I waited for a minute. Charlie was looking more and more uncomfortable. I heard my dad clear his throat from across the table. When it became clear that Charlie wasn't going to give me an answer on his own, I pressed.

"Then why-"

"Just tell him, Charlie," my dad interrupted. Charlie looked sideways at my father, then back at me, then back down at his hands. The sick feeling returned, spreading through my gut. I swallowed loudly and waited.

Finally Charlie looked up to meet my gaze with a pained, pitying expression.

"Bella... She left, Jake. To Phoenix. I just got back from the airport right now."

I stared at him with wide, disbelieving eyes. It took a minute for the words to sink in.

"Bella... left?" The words sounded strange to me, alien. I blinked a few times, unwilling to let the thought register in my mind. But the truth was winning out.

No, no no no no... Bella... Please no. First mom, not Bella too. Please, not Bella.

And the feeling of loss was made all the worse, because I knew that it was all my fault. My fault Bella had left.

I jumped up from the table, knocking over the chair behind me. I wasn't even aware of what I was doing. I seemed to be moving too fast as I ran to the door and yanked it open, speeding out into the drizzle that was turning into a downpour. I was moving too fast, the rain was falling too hard. Everything seemed surreal, like being in a dream. I didn't even realize that I was crying until I heard the gasping, choking sobs that were tearing my chest apart. I blinked up into the rain, searching desperately.

I knew I wouldn't find it. The plane had probably already emerged from the ocean of gray clouds, invisible. I stared hopelessly at the place where my last shred of hope would be flying out now.

"I'm sorry," I cried out to the sky. "I love you. Goodbye," I finished with a whisper, knowing either way that it was too late and that she wouldn't hear me.

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**Aww, poor Jakey. I thought maybe this chapter was a little deep, you know, for a nine-year-old. But I'm not really good with the little kid stuff. What do you think? You can tell me through a REVIEW.**

**Peace, and by the way, Happy Holidays! Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, whatever it is you celebrate.**


	8. Chapter 8

**I realized that it's getting around the time in which I have to update, but I didn't want to give you guys speedy crap. So here's a little idea that's been bouncing around in my head for a while, I decided to give it a shot. It's supposed to be sort of like a two-way journal entry.**

**Bella's not back yet guys. Sorry. It's coming around.**

**Disclaimer: Do I look like a Stephenie to you?**

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**_Six years later..._**

_I was looking through the attic today._

_I went out to work on the car in the garage today._

_And I found a box that I must not have looked at in years._

_I found a box that must have not been opened since I was eight._

_I had totally forgotten about Jacob, but looking inside, I can't believe we haven't even talked in years._

_It's been years since I even thought about Bella._

_We used to be so close!_

_We were like family._

_I remember how Jacob went into the depression, I finally remember why I refused to go back to Forks all those years._

_I haven't seen her since after my mom died, that was when she left._

_Wow, I used to be so different! I was always so much more carefree with Jacob._

_I can't remember being as happy as I look in the pictures with Bella._

_I wonder if I emailed him..._

_I wonder if I called her..._

_No._

_No._

_He'd think I was crazy. He probably doesn't remember me._

_She wouldn't know me. She'd think I was an idiot._

_I wonder what he looks like, now._

_I wonder how she's changed._

_He's probably got all the girls in his school after him._

_She's probably beautiful. She always was._

_He's probably got a girlfriend._

_She probably has a man._

_I wonder if he ever knew how much he meant to me._

_I wonder if she ever knew how much I loved her._

_I wish we would have kept in contact after I left..._

_I wish we would have talked or written each other._

_Am I crazy?_

_Why am I an idiot?_

_I haven't seen him in six years!_

_I probably don't even know her anymore!_

_I wish I never would have left._

_I wish she would have stayed._

_The truth is,_

_You wanna know the truth?_

_I miss him._

_I miss her. I love her._

_

* * *

_

**It's short, I know. Review?**


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